I’m looking forward to my interviews next week. It will be interesting to hear what the nephrologist has to say and to be probed by the psych – I wonder what he or she’ll be looking for?
My resolve is as yet unwavering but my wife is less happy, in fact she says she will support anything I want to do other than going under the knife.
All of a sudden the idea of a sponsored tour of the U.Ks best golf courses sounds like a good idea!!
She’s worried, as I would be I suppose about the “what if’s”
What if I die – only 3% do
What if I need it later – they’ll only do the op if I am 100% fit and therefore they’ll know whether I’m likely to need it later.
What if the family need it – if everyone worried about that nobody would ever do it.
Anyhow I’ll soldier on and hope to persuade her of my committment to this otherwise my recuperation might feature more of the Hattie Jaqcues matron than Joanne Whalley’s Nurse Mills (in Singing Detective).
September 7, 2009 at 7:21 am
You need to work out what is more important your wife and families feeling or yours. You need to decide before things get too far ahead. There are many other ways you can donat to help people. Bone Marrow? people are really in need. Blood Platelets – only men can donate. It does not have to be a kidney to help save someones life. Discuss with your wife the alternative ways you can help to save a life and find one you are all comforable with. Put yourself in your wifes place, how she must be feeling. You can save a life donating other ways but – family … they are the most important of all and your wifes feelings should be paramount and before you proceed further with any tests you should get this sorted with her. As for kidney problems afterwards, being healthy now does not preclude future kidney problems which can arise from diabetes and other things which cannot be predicted at this point. Put your wife’s feelings first, she is the most important person in your life. Go donate some bone marrow, blood platelets, you can help many people that way, not just one as with a kidney.
As your wife said, she will support anything except going under the knife. Whatever her fears … put her first! Or if you are determined to put your wishes before hers then at least postpone any more tests until she is happy with what you are doing. Go save a life by donating bone marrow. They are calling out for donors. I am sure your wife will be happy with that, and so will the people who you help by donating.
September 9, 2009 at 9:18 am
Hi Stuart,
thanks for your comments.
I will be looking into the options you mention in addition to the kidney donation as I don’t think it necessarily has to be an either/or.
I will continue to consider my wifes views as of major importance as I won’t be able to do this without her support, that said I really feel committed to this in ways I can’t fuly explain and I hope I’ll convince her that this means a great deal to me.
Ultimately if she feels she can’t support me it will be difficult for me to go ahead and I will have to consider my options very carefully.
Fingers crossed.
Chris